votive candles

"First of all, there is no such thing as being isolated.

The relationship of two people creates society;
society is not independent of you and me;
the mass is not by itself a separate entity but you and I in our relationship to each other create the mass, the group, the society."

J. Krishnamurti "The First and Last Freedom" - Q/A-9: Relationships

sand clowns
looney tunes

"Relationship is the awareness of interconnection between two people.

What is that relationship generally based on?

If I do not please you, you get rid of me;
if I please you, you accept me either as your wife or as your neighbour or as your friend.
That is the fact."

J. Krishnamurti "The First and Last Freedom" - Relationships

being me

"Obviously relationship means that - to be in communion with another. Are you?

Are you in communion with your wife?

Perhaps you are physically but that is not relationship.

You and your wife live on opposite sides of a wall of isolation, do you not?

You have your own pursuits, your ambitions, and she has hers. You live behind the wall and occasionally look over the top - and that you call relationship.

That is a fact, is it not?"

J. Krishnamurti "The First and Last Freedom" - Relationships

society in sand
consumers all

"I exploit others ruthlessly in the business world, in the political or social world outside, and at home I try to be kind and generous.

How absurd!

Or the world is too much for me, I want peace and I go home. I suffer in the world and I go home and try to find comfort.

So I use relationship as a means of gratification..."

J. Krishnamurti "The First and Last Freedom" - Relationships

münich wall art
me me me

"Thus relationship is sought where there is mutual satisfaction, gratification; when you do not find that satisfaction you change relationship; either you divorce or you remain together but seek gratification elsewhere or else you move from one relationship to another till you find what you seek - which is satisfaction, gratification, and a sense of self-protection and comfort.

If you do not satisfy me and I am seeking satisfaction, naturally there must be conflict, because we are both seeking security in each other; when that security becomes uncertain you become jealous, you become violent, you become possessive and so on."

J. Krishnamurti "The First and Last Freedom" - Relationships

porcelain dancers
dangerous liaisons

"Now there is no understanding of relationship, because we use relationship merely as a means of furthering achievement, furthering transformation, furthering becoming.

But relationship is a means of self-discovery, because relationship is to be; it is existence.

Without relationship, I am not.

To understand myself, I must understand relationship.

Relationship is a mirror in which I can see myself."

J. Krishnamurti "The First and Last Freedom" - Relationships

broken bridges
broken bridges

"What is the relationship between yourself and the misery, the confusion, in and around you?

Surely this confusion, this misery, did not come into being by itself.

You and I have created it...

If we are miserable, confused, chaotic within, by projection that becomes the world, that becomes society, because the relationship between yourself and myself between myself and another is society - society is the product of our relationship - and if our relationship is confused, egocentric, narrow, limited, national, we project that and bring chaos into the world."

J. Krishnamurti "The First and Last Freedom" - Relationships


"If we are both trying to find out the issues of the problem, which lie in the problem itself, if both of us are eager to go to the bottom of it, find the truth of it, discover what it is - then we are related.

Then your mind is both alert and passive, watching to see what is true in this.

Therefore your mind must be extraordinarily swift, not anchored to any idea or ideal, to any judgement, to any opinion that you have consolidated through your particular experiences.

To understand relationship, there must be a passive awareness - which does not destroy relationship."

J. Krishnamurti "The First and Last Freedom" - Q-15; "on criticism"


"By giving a name to something, we have merely put it into a category and we think we have understood it; we don't look at it more closely. If we do not give it a name, however, we are forced to look at it.

That is we approach the flower or whatever it is with a newness, with a new quality of examination; we look at it as though we had never looked at it before.

Naming is a very convenient way of disposing of things and of people...

If you do not give a label to people you are forced to look at them and then it is much more difficult to kill somebody."

J. Krishnamurti "The First and Last Freedom" - Q-27; "on naming"